Post by the Scribe on Jul 18, 2021 7:25:24 GMT
What do Joe Pesci, James Joyce and Linda Ronstadt have in common?
blog.timesunion.com/golf/2015/02/06/what-do-joe-pesci-james-joyce-and-linda-ronstadt-have-in-common/
By Tucker on February 6, 2015 at 1:03 PM
My drive Blue Bayou
It has lately occurred to me that I haven’t trashed bowling for quite a while on this blog, and it’s not just because I’ve taken to joining some bowling buddies on a regular basis each week during the winter months. Given this information, it wouldn’t be inaccurate to label me a hypocrite, something I’m not proud of but a condition common to every competitive golfer who wishes his opponent “Good Luck!” on the first tee.
The rich heritage of a sport can be defined in many ways such as its literature, the famous quotes from writers and players, the novels based on the sport, etc. Based on these criteria, golf is the Masters, while bowling and tennis are the Tri-City Tidy Bowl Nebraska qualifier.
I’ve raved on in past posts about these deficiencies but would just like to take one more shot at belittling those other sports. Then I promise I’ll shut up. For a while.
Let’s talk about the slang used in these sports. Bowling has turkey, Brooklyn side, messenger, hambone, cranker, tweener and stroker, while tennis comes in with hooker, double bagel, dirtballer, banger and moonball. That’s about it.
These terms describe shots, scores and players but they lack the humor, originality and creativity of golf slang. Let’s look at the slang used to describe just golf shots (and I’ll cut the list in half by only listing the most original and the terms appropriate for a family newspaper blog).
golf joe pesci
Angel Gooser: A very high shot
Cabbage Pounder: A golfer who spends a lot of time in the rough
Captain Kirk: A shot that goes where no man has gone before
Culligan: A mulligan that ends up in the water
Elephant’s Butt: A high shot that stinks
Heliputter: A low flying aircraft usually seen hovering over a green after a missed putt
A Hitler: Two shots in a bunker
James Joyce: A difficult read
Joe Pesci: A mean five-footer
A Johnny Cochran: A lie so terrible that you need Johnny to get you out of it
Kate Winslett: A little fat but otherwise perfect
Lawn Sausages: Goose droppings
A Linda Ronstadt: My drive Blue Bayou
Mario Andretti: A shot that hits the cart path and keeps rolling
Marquis de Sod: The superintendent responsible for painful pin placements
A Nancy Pelosi: Too far to the left
Oprah Golf: Alternating Fat/Thin shots, like Tiger’s chipping these days
Recovery Room: The 19th Hole
Rock Hudson: A shot that looks straight but isn’t
A Rush Limbaugh: Too far to the right
Saddam Hussein: Buried in a bunker
Serving cake: Continually slicing
Sudden Gust of Gravity: A shot that looked good but is inexplicably short
Swing Lube: Alcohol
Toilet Flusher: A putt that swirls around the hole before draining
Trench Wrench: Sand wedge
A Van de Velde: A poor course management decision
Volkswagen: An ugly shot that nevertheless does the job
Zeppelin: A high floating shot doomed to crash and burn
Having read these terms, if you still think golf is a nose-in-the-air elitist sport, you may want to take a mulligan. Let’s hear your golf slang – got something to add?
blog.timesunion.com/golf/2015/02/06/what-do-joe-pesci-james-joyce-and-linda-ronstadt-have-in-common/
By Tucker on February 6, 2015 at 1:03 PM
My drive Blue Bayou
It has lately occurred to me that I haven’t trashed bowling for quite a while on this blog, and it’s not just because I’ve taken to joining some bowling buddies on a regular basis each week during the winter months. Given this information, it wouldn’t be inaccurate to label me a hypocrite, something I’m not proud of but a condition common to every competitive golfer who wishes his opponent “Good Luck!” on the first tee.
The rich heritage of a sport can be defined in many ways such as its literature, the famous quotes from writers and players, the novels based on the sport, etc. Based on these criteria, golf is the Masters, while bowling and tennis are the Tri-City Tidy Bowl Nebraska qualifier.
I’ve raved on in past posts about these deficiencies but would just like to take one more shot at belittling those other sports. Then I promise I’ll shut up. For a while.
Let’s talk about the slang used in these sports. Bowling has turkey, Brooklyn side, messenger, hambone, cranker, tweener and stroker, while tennis comes in with hooker, double bagel, dirtballer, banger and moonball. That’s about it.
These terms describe shots, scores and players but they lack the humor, originality and creativity of golf slang. Let’s look at the slang used to describe just golf shots (and I’ll cut the list in half by only listing the most original and the terms appropriate for a family newspaper blog).
golf joe pesci
Angel Gooser: A very high shot
Cabbage Pounder: A golfer who spends a lot of time in the rough
Captain Kirk: A shot that goes where no man has gone before
Culligan: A mulligan that ends up in the water
Elephant’s Butt: A high shot that stinks
Heliputter: A low flying aircraft usually seen hovering over a green after a missed putt
A Hitler: Two shots in a bunker
James Joyce: A difficult read
Joe Pesci: A mean five-footer
A Johnny Cochran: A lie so terrible that you need Johnny to get you out of it
Kate Winslett: A little fat but otherwise perfect
Lawn Sausages: Goose droppings
A Linda Ronstadt: My drive Blue Bayou
Mario Andretti: A shot that hits the cart path and keeps rolling
Marquis de Sod: The superintendent responsible for painful pin placements
A Nancy Pelosi: Too far to the left
Oprah Golf: Alternating Fat/Thin shots, like Tiger’s chipping these days
Recovery Room: The 19th Hole
Rock Hudson: A shot that looks straight but isn’t
A Rush Limbaugh: Too far to the right
Saddam Hussein: Buried in a bunker
Serving cake: Continually slicing
Sudden Gust of Gravity: A shot that looked good but is inexplicably short
Swing Lube: Alcohol
Toilet Flusher: A putt that swirls around the hole before draining
Trench Wrench: Sand wedge
A Van de Velde: A poor course management decision
Volkswagen: An ugly shot that nevertheless does the job
Zeppelin: A high floating shot doomed to crash and burn
Having read these terms, if you still think golf is a nose-in-the-air elitist sport, you may want to take a mulligan. Let’s hear your golf slang – got something to add?