Post by the Scribe on Apr 8, 2020 0:21:28 GMT
Nov 9, 2012 16:46:29 GMT @ronstadtfanaz said:
We need to ramp up anticipation for Linda's memoirs and what better way to do it with this thread. Her boyfriends read like a who's who and she has a great opportunity to give us a peak into her and their lives in her own voice and viewpoint. She could be writing her legacy. Critics haven't always been kind to her musically and personally and she has a real chance to give us the real Linda as only she will be able to do. I am hopeful her true heart will show through and it will be as masterful as any of her albums.companion thread ronstadt.proboards.com/thread/1946/linda-ronstadt-love
David Sanborn & Linda Ronstadt / The water is wide
here is an excerpt about Linda's view on men from long ago and far away:
PLAYBOY: You have been linked with many famous, rich, successful men through the years.
RONSTADT: Well, it would be very odd if it turned out that I had had a long relationship with a dentist. I mean, I meet famous people. I tend to have relationships with people I admire, who tend to be successful. I mean, who are you going to get a crush on? Somebody you don't admire? Why would you want to go out with a loser? What would you talk about? How I lost my job last week? But I have lots of friends who are successful and not famous. It's just that when I go out with someone else who is famous, it gets written about - makes better reading.
PLAYBOY: When you meet a man you admire, what's the next step?
RONSTADT: I have to get chased a whole lot. I need a lot of convincing, especially if he's famous. I don't want it to seem that I'm standing in line. I have to be convinced he is more interested in me than any of the other women interested in him. I have to know that I'm the exceptional one.
PLAYBOY: How long do those relation-ships usually last?
RONSTADT: I go out with a guy either for a night or for a year. I rarely have boyfriends for less than a year. Some just move over to friendships.
PLAYBOY: Is it hard to keep former lovers for friends?
RONSTADT: You have to explain what the nature of the relationship is, going in. Are we going steady? If you don't promise something that you don't have any intention of delivering, you can move on and not leave bitterness behind. I never felt obligated to be physically faithful to anybody or to be in any way emotionally entwined with just one man. I have never made that promise. I have never had a ring around my neck or an engagement ring or a wedding ring on my finger. If I did make that promise. I suppose I would be mad if I didn't honor it. So I enjoy and let the other person enjoy, and some of that's sexual.
PLAYBOY: Where does love fit in?
RONSTADT: Being in love is the best way to excite the feelings of sexuality. But you can't fall in love with everybody you are hugely, physically attracted to. I think you fall in love once, maybe twice. If you are dumb enough to screw it up the first time or unfortunate enough to lose it and if you're lucky enough to find it again, that's great. Love is a special circumstance. When you fall in love, a whole different set of principles apply. I think shallow relationships are boring. Who wants endless streams of shallow relationships? My relationships are very intense. Whether or not they last five years is totally beside the point. And I don't think my lifestyle is conducive to those kinds of relationships. I don't consider any of my relationships a failure. I think they have all been rather successful. But, boy, are they intense. Whoa, Jesus!
PLAYBOY: How many times have you been in love?
RONSTADT: It's really a little death, in a way, falling in love, because you surrender yourself. When you're about to fall in love, you have this inner dialog. You know, Is this guy really cool, is he thoughtful, has he shown me strength of character, do I love him? At some point, when you are really in love, you stop having this inner dialog and you just go on and love that person unconditionally and when you do, it's a little death. You surrender and you just totally let yourself open to that and it's the most vulnerable position to be in. But to me, it's the ultimate of sexual excitement to fall totally in love.
PLAYBOY: How many times has that happened to you?
RONSTADT: I went over that line only once. It was really frightening and it took me about two years to come back.
PLAYBOY: Was that with J. D. Souther?
RONSTADT: It doesn't matter. But once you totally let go, it is not easy to regain control. There is a part of you that always stays connected to that person and it changes you. But I still think it's neat. I still think it is something to strive for.
PLAYBOY: So you are not totally in love with anyone at the moment?
RONSTADT: That's right. I realized that that first time I actually went overboard. I went splat! It was such a wonderful feeling. That was stage one. Stage two was learning what the consequences are and stage three is being very careful. I don't think there is anything wrong with taking a real long time to fall over the edge the next time, because the next time, I would like to stay there. It's like reading your owner's manual. You read it, you do what it says and you do it pretty good.
PLAYBOY: Do you want to get married?
RONSTADT: As a life goal? Not really. I think it would be nice to have a mate whether it involved marriage or not. And I understand the reasons for wanting to ritualize the situation. It lends a bit more weight. But sometimes for people like me, who are real skittish and need a lot of freedom, maybe having that extra weight might be a burden. I've never seriously considered marrying anybody so far. But I've gotten some interesting proposals.
PLAYBOY: Do you want to have children?
RONSTADT: That's the big one. I've thought about it a lot, especially as I get nearer to 35. I like children a whole lot, but that's not a good enough reason. The only reason to have children is because you want them more than anything else and if I get to that point, I won't care if I'm married or not. I'd prefer to be with the kids' father, because I think that would multiply the enjoyment and the richness of the experience geometrically, but I don't think it would be impossible to do it alone.
PLAYBOY: Then you're not really looking for a permanent commitment.
RONSTADT: My favorite Brownism is: "Choice is the enemy of commitment." Here I am, cruising around the world, and you see this one and that one and it makes it hard if you're with one person. Suppose that person comes up short in a couple of areas and you miss that and you go to a city and find a person who's just got those two things and maybe none of the others and you go, "Why shouldn't I have that? I want that." It's just human nature.
PLAYBOY: Do you think monogamy is impossible?
RONSTADT: I don't think it's impossible; I don't think it is particularly necessary. If you live with a man and he is unfaithful to you, the only thing you can do is hope you don't find out, because it may not have any bearing on your relationship. Or if you are unfaithful to the man, I don't think you have an obligation to tell, because sometimes it is more destructive to tell. You should try real hard to stay true, though, because it's less complicated. You may be at a crossroads with somebody and if you just stayed with him, stuck it out a little bit longer, you may get up to the next level, which may be really wonderful. And if you get tempted astray, it may damage whatever kind of momentum you have going. But then, on the other hand, it may enrich it. Who knows? There just aren't any rules. I don't think a relationship can survive continual deceit and lies. As for occasional deceit and lies . . . (Laughs)
RONSTADT: Well, it would be very odd if it turned out that I had had a long relationship with a dentist. I mean, I meet famous people. I tend to have relationships with people I admire, who tend to be successful. I mean, who are you going to get a crush on? Somebody you don't admire? Why would you want to go out with a loser? What would you talk about? How I lost my job last week? But I have lots of friends who are successful and not famous. It's just that when I go out with someone else who is famous, it gets written about - makes better reading.
PLAYBOY: When you meet a man you admire, what's the next step?
RONSTADT: I have to get chased a whole lot. I need a lot of convincing, especially if he's famous. I don't want it to seem that I'm standing in line. I have to be convinced he is more interested in me than any of the other women interested in him. I have to know that I'm the exceptional one.
PLAYBOY: How long do those relation-ships usually last?
RONSTADT: I go out with a guy either for a night or for a year. I rarely have boyfriends for less than a year. Some just move over to friendships.
PLAYBOY: Is it hard to keep former lovers for friends?
RONSTADT: You have to explain what the nature of the relationship is, going in. Are we going steady? If you don't promise something that you don't have any intention of delivering, you can move on and not leave bitterness behind. I never felt obligated to be physically faithful to anybody or to be in any way emotionally entwined with just one man. I have never made that promise. I have never had a ring around my neck or an engagement ring or a wedding ring on my finger. If I did make that promise. I suppose I would be mad if I didn't honor it. So I enjoy and let the other person enjoy, and some of that's sexual.
PLAYBOY: Where does love fit in?
RONSTADT: Being in love is the best way to excite the feelings of sexuality. But you can't fall in love with everybody you are hugely, physically attracted to. I think you fall in love once, maybe twice. If you are dumb enough to screw it up the first time or unfortunate enough to lose it and if you're lucky enough to find it again, that's great. Love is a special circumstance. When you fall in love, a whole different set of principles apply. I think shallow relationships are boring. Who wants endless streams of shallow relationships? My relationships are very intense. Whether or not they last five years is totally beside the point. And I don't think my lifestyle is conducive to those kinds of relationships. I don't consider any of my relationships a failure. I think they have all been rather successful. But, boy, are they intense. Whoa, Jesus!
PLAYBOY: How many times have you been in love?
RONSTADT: It's really a little death, in a way, falling in love, because you surrender yourself. When you're about to fall in love, you have this inner dialog. You know, Is this guy really cool, is he thoughtful, has he shown me strength of character, do I love him? At some point, when you are really in love, you stop having this inner dialog and you just go on and love that person unconditionally and when you do, it's a little death. You surrender and you just totally let yourself open to that and it's the most vulnerable position to be in. But to me, it's the ultimate of sexual excitement to fall totally in love.
PLAYBOY: How many times has that happened to you?
RONSTADT: I went over that line only once. It was really frightening and it took me about two years to come back.
PLAYBOY: Was that with J. D. Souther?
RONSTADT: It doesn't matter. But once you totally let go, it is not easy to regain control. There is a part of you that always stays connected to that person and it changes you. But I still think it's neat. I still think it is something to strive for.
PLAYBOY: So you are not totally in love with anyone at the moment?
RONSTADT: That's right. I realized that that first time I actually went overboard. I went splat! It was such a wonderful feeling. That was stage one. Stage two was learning what the consequences are and stage three is being very careful. I don't think there is anything wrong with taking a real long time to fall over the edge the next time, because the next time, I would like to stay there. It's like reading your owner's manual. You read it, you do what it says and you do it pretty good.
PLAYBOY: Do you want to get married?
RONSTADT: As a life goal? Not really. I think it would be nice to have a mate whether it involved marriage or not. And I understand the reasons for wanting to ritualize the situation. It lends a bit more weight. But sometimes for people like me, who are real skittish and need a lot of freedom, maybe having that extra weight might be a burden. I've never seriously considered marrying anybody so far. But I've gotten some interesting proposals.
PLAYBOY: Do you want to have children?
RONSTADT: That's the big one. I've thought about it a lot, especially as I get nearer to 35. I like children a whole lot, but that's not a good enough reason. The only reason to have children is because you want them more than anything else and if I get to that point, I won't care if I'm married or not. I'd prefer to be with the kids' father, because I think that would multiply the enjoyment and the richness of the experience geometrically, but I don't think it would be impossible to do it alone.
PLAYBOY: Then you're not really looking for a permanent commitment.
RONSTADT: My favorite Brownism is: "Choice is the enemy of commitment." Here I am, cruising around the world, and you see this one and that one and it makes it hard if you're with one person. Suppose that person comes up short in a couple of areas and you miss that and you go to a city and find a person who's just got those two things and maybe none of the others and you go, "Why shouldn't I have that? I want that." It's just human nature.
PLAYBOY: Do you think monogamy is impossible?
RONSTADT: I don't think it's impossible; I don't think it is particularly necessary. If you live with a man and he is unfaithful to you, the only thing you can do is hope you don't find out, because it may not have any bearing on your relationship. Or if you are unfaithful to the man, I don't think you have an obligation to tell, because sometimes it is more destructive to tell. You should try real hard to stay true, though, because it's less complicated. You may be at a crossroads with somebody and if you just stayed with him, stuck it out a little bit longer, you may get up to the next level, which may be really wonderful. And if you get tempted astray, it may damage whatever kind of momentum you have going. But then, on the other hand, it may enrich it. Who knows? There just aren't any rules. I don't think a relationship can survive continual deceit and lies. As for occasional deceit and lies . . . (Laughs)